Safety Tips

Making Your Online Dating Experience Safe & Successful

As with anyone you meet—online or offline—your sound judgment and instincts are necessary to protect yourself. Here are the essential 'rules-of-the-road' for safely navigating online relationships.

1. Always Use Your Best Judgment

Romance in the Northwoods does not conduct background checks. As with any personal interaction, keep in mind it is always possible for people to misrepresent themselves but assessing a match's truthfulness and honesty is ultimately your responsibility. Don't ignore any facts that seem inconsistent or “off.” Trust your instincts—if something doesn't feel right, close communication or if on a date, leave. You're in control of the entire process, so you can choose a comfortable pace for your relationship.

Watch out for someone who:

• Asks for money or any type of financial assistance, especially if you have never met in person.
• Asks you to assist with personal transactions (depositing funds, shipping merchandise, etc).
• Wants to speed up the pace beyond your comfort level.
• Reports a sudden personal crisis and pressures you to provide assistance. If this happens, view the request with healthy skepticism.  Put yourself in the other person’s shoes:  If you were faced with an emergency, why would you turn to a person you’ve only recently met online for assistance rather than seeking help from family or friends?  Although it can be embarrassing to ask for help from a loved one, most people would find it far worse to have to ask a person they’ve only just met for money or other items of value.
• Asks inappropriate questions.
• Tells stories with inconsistencies, some which may sound grandiose.
• Gives vague answers to specific questions.
• Urges you to compromise your principles.
• Constantly blames others for troubles in his or her life.
• Insists on getting overly close, overly fast.

2. Be Cautious When Sharing Personal Information

We strongly encourage you to be cautious when sharing personal information that could reveal your identity. Take full advantage of our secure and completely anonymous Guided Communication process, and resist the urge to provide a personal email or phone number right away, no matter how strong a connection to your match may feel. Once you've given out personal information, you cannot take it back! We encourage you to get to know a match well via our secure Open Communication system before taking the next step and sharing a telephone number, instant messenger handle or email address. 

Phoning with the other person is a critical requirement in getting to know each other better. But before you share phone numbers, make sure you have discussed the need to respect each other's privacy, and if either of you decide to end communication in the future, you will not use the phone number as a means to pursue an unwanted relationship. For added security, try using your phone's privacy features when you call, like private number blocking. You also have the option to use Romance in the Northwoods’s Secure Call service that allows you and your match to call each other without exchanging phone numbers.

3. Do Your Own Research

As mentioned above, it is important to note that Romance in the Northwoods does not perform background checks on its members.  Romance in the Northwoods does not perform criminal background checks on its users because there is no national database of criminal convictions in the United States and many crimes are never reported or prosecuted, so background checks would provide a false sense of security. It is important to use caution and common sense with every match received.

It is also important to note that our optional identity verification service, which is powered by our partner RelyID, is not a background check. We rely on the honesty of our members when filling out our Romance in the Northwoods Relationship Questionnaire to supply us with their date of birth, marital status, city and state of residence, occupation, educational background and a myriad of additional items. Regardless of the connection you feel with any of your matches, we encourage you to do your own research before meeting in person. This can be anything from typing your match's name into a search engine, contacting your state or local municipalities to obtain public information, or using a paid service to obtain a full background report. Above all else, use common sense. Pay attention to the details someone shares and if you find anything that doesn't seem to add up, follow your intuition and close the communication.

4. Make Your First Date Safe and Successful

Meeting in person is a very exciting time. Most of all you just want to have fun and explore the level of chemistry that you share with your date, but don't let high hopes cloud your ability to exercise reasonable caution.

Do:

• Choose the time and place of your date wisely. Meet in a public place at a decent hour during which lots of people will be around. Lunch dates work especially well.
• Limit alcohol consumption or abstain entirely until you know the person better.
• Use your own transportation, even when meeting someone who lives a great distance away from you. It's never a good idea to get into someone's personal vehicle on a first date. Wherever possible, drive yourself or take a taxi.
• Tell at least one friend or family member about your plans, and arrange to check in with them after each of the first few dates.
• Carry a fully charged mobile phone with easily accessible emergency numbers.

Don't:

• Leave beverages or personal belongings such as purses, wallets, or jackets with pockets that may contain items that could reveal personal information about you, such as a driver's license, credit cards, ATM receipts, etc.
• Meet at your house or place of work or give that information out until you have had a good opportunity to know the other person better.
• Incur large expenses on a date without first discussing how the cost will be divided
• Go home with someone, even if it feels like everything's going great. You have not spent enough time with them to assess whether your safety is at risk.

5. Take Your Time

While online communication can accelerate one's sense of comfort and intimacy, we can't stress enough how important it is for you to take your time getting to know your match. We encourage you to use Romance in the Northwoods's anonymous Open Communication system as long as necessary to find out as much about your match as is reasonably possible.

Even though Romance in the Northwoods's matching process creates extremely compatible matches, compatibility alone does not eliminate the need for real-life experience. It is vital to date and get to know each other in a deep, revealing and meaningful way by sharing a broad base of experiences together. The more experiences you share, the better your chances of avoiding hidden and sometimes unpleasant surprises. So allow time for a variety of experiences together, particularly the simple everyday routine. In cases of long-distance relationships, if possible, you should consider living in the same area for a significant time before committing to a more serious relationship. Move slowly, learn about and pay attention to the reality of your new relationship, as well as your relationship goals.

6. Always be Respectful and Kind

Always be respectful and treat your matches as you would want them to treat you. Not every match is going to be right for you so closing communication with matches and having matches close communication with you is a natural and healthy part of our process. Romance in the Northwoods is about bringing two compatible people together who have a solid foundation from which a long-term relationship would have a high probability of success. You still need to carefully consider whether this particular person is one with whom you would like to further a relationship. If you feel the need to end communication, then be honest, direct and polite. The sooner you address this determination, the better for both of you.

If a match feels the need to close communication with you, please respect their wishes.

7. Report Concerns About a Match to Romance in the Northwoods

Romance in the Northwoods works hard to close  individuals  who misrepresent who they are on our site, and we take member complaints seriously. If you have concerns about a particular match on Romance in the Northwoods, please do not hesitate to contact us so that appropriate steps can be taken to keep Romance in the Northwoods the safest and best place to start a relationship on the web. Email your concerns to: matchconcerns@Romance in the Northwoods.com. Never give anyone money or send goods requested such as laptops, gift cards or other items of value.  If a match asks you for money, a loan or any other merchandise, please report this as a Match Concerns so that Romance in the Northwoods can investigate this matter. 

If Romance in the Northwoods closes an account for suspect activity, inappropriate behavior or falsified identity, you may be notified via email to discontinue communicating with the match in question.  We strongly encourage all of our members to review emails received from Romance in the Northwoods to ensure this communication is received promptly.

We hope these guidelines will help to make your Romance in the Northwoods experience a success, and that you will find your soul mate as so many others before you have done.